A World of Pain and Snow (AU)
by WornAndOneWinged
Summary: "I want to reverse it," she whispered, tears still running down her pale face. "I want her back. I don't want this power. I don't want to hurt anyone." After an unfortunate accident that occured when they were children, Anna has been in a comatose state ever since, leaving Elsa feeling lost, alone and racked with guilt. A young man named Olaf is the only person she has for company.


_Author's Note: This is an AU that shows how the events of Frozen could have turned out if it were set it the modern world. Elsa's ability to control ice and snow remains the same, however. But with no trolls or anyone with any understanding of magic, there wasn't much that could be done for Anna when her head was struck with ice._

_Get comfortable, put on the saddest music you can find, and let's go on a feels trip. Happy reading, everyone._

* * *

Anna's auburn hair felt so lifeless under Elsa's gloved hand. Her freckled face was completely still, as though she was nothing more than a cardboard cut-out of herself. The white nightgown she wore disappeared beneath the neatly placed creaseless sheets. Elsa's fingers gently swiped her sister's bangs to one side of her face, only to have them fall back into place limply. The single platinum blonde streak was half hidden amongst the rest of her hair that hung loose over her shoulders.

With a sad smile, Elsa moved her hand down to Anna's and held it. The sanitary scent of the hospital room would have been overpowering to anyone else, but Elsa barely even noticed it. She was used to it.

"How long do you plan on sleeping there, Little Sis?" her lips quivered a little as she spoke in a whisper.

"It's getting a little lonely."

Anna didn't give as much as a stir in response. Elsa never expected her to, though. Her sister had been trapped in a comatose state for thirteen long years, showing no signs of ever waking up. While the life support machine she was hooked up to kept a faint touch of pink in Anna's cheeks, she still looked like her face had been filled with watercolour paint. Elsa began to feel more helpless and alone with each day that passed when she couldn't see her sister's smile. And worst of all, there had been a suffocating feeling of guilt that pulsed through her heart ever since that day. She was the one who put that beautiful girl on this cold hospital bed.

Elsa pulled her hand away from Anna's, worried that she might be hurting her. Her fingers curled into her palm and she stared down at her tight fist. That icy feeling inside her glove just _wouldn't go away._

"I'm sorry, Anna," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she looked up at her sister.

"You know I didn't mean to hurt you, right?"

Silence was the only response that Anna could give.

"I'm going to learn how to control it, okay? Maybe even find a way to get rid of it for good. I don't…" Elsa wiped away a tear that had reached the corner of her mouth.

"I don't want to hurt everything I touch anymore."

After staying by Anna's side and talking to her for half an hour longer, she finally stood up from the large cushion-covered chair she had been sitting in and reluctantly left the room, forcing a sad smile before closing the door behind her.

As she passed the hospital's front desk, Elsa murmured a polite "thank you" to the receptionist.

"Elsa."

She stopped when the woman at the desk spoke her name in a serious tone. Elsa turned around, her platinum blonde braid lifting up lightly before falling over her back again.

"Yes?"  
The woman sighed, "I'm worried about you, Elsa."

"Me_? _It's my sister that you should be worried about," Elsa looked away sadly.

"That's exactly what I mean. You-"

"Just make sure they're taking care of her. Please."

Pulling her long, dark purple button-up jacket over top of her long-sleeved skin-tight top, she turned and headed for the exit. The receptionist was saying something behind her, but Elsa only caught a "You need to stop this-" before she blocked it out and closed the doors, walking out into the frosty winter air. As she shuffled out into the quiet street, the cold nipped at her nose, but she hardly felt it. _At least _I'm _not the cause of this weather.  
_The power to control ice and snow had been a part of Elsa's life since the day she was born and yet she was no closer to understanding why or how she had come to have it. Her parents had been confused, but had decided to let her have her fun with it at first. After all, it brought a smile to Anna's face whenever Elsa made a snowman or an ice slide magically appear out of her own hands. But when Anna was five-years-old, one small mistake on Elsa's part was all it took to seal the young girl's fate. Her head was accidentally struck by Elsa's ice. Their parents could do nothing but take Anna to the hospital where hardly anything could be done for her either. They told a single nurse in secret about the cause of Anna's injury, but even with that information, there was no cure for a magically-inflicted illness. It was, of course, unheard of. And so Anna remained in the hospital on life support while her parents wished for a miracle that never came. Or, at least one that they never got to see. They planned on travelling around the world in the hopes of finding someone, _anyone _who could help Anna. But they passed away in a plane crash before they even reached their first destination. Elsa had to answer that painful phone call and plan the funeral all by herself.

Living alone in such a large house, even on deathly cold winter evenings, she preferred to avoid being there for any reasons other than sleeping. With the money her parents left her, Elsa didn't have to worry about finding a job for the time being. There was a decent amount in her savings and she was only buying necessities. She never touched the money that was meant for Anna.

Elsa walked close to the buildings she passed as she made her way through the small city. The only sounds around her were of the few cars that occasionally drove by her. She eventually found herself at a park and she sat down on the end of one of the long seats covered in a thin layer of frost that dampened her jeans. The purple coat she was wearing would have done nothing to warm any other person than herself. She leaned forward and pulled the hood lined with dark brown fur over her braided hair and wrapped her arms around herself, her weak breath leaving her lips as a cloud of white steam. She sat there, her thoughts frozen in her mind as if they weren't allowing her to think them.

"Hi, Elsa."

A voice beside her made her slowly turn her head to see who was there.

"Oh, Olaf," she smiled a little at the young man. "How long have you been-?"

"Just got here. Don't worry, I haven't been spying on you, or anything," Olaf chuckled, laughing out steam clouds in short bursts.

Olaf was the same age as Elsa and looked similar enough to her that he could have been mistaken for her brother. His hair was the colour of vanilla ice cream and his wide eyes were a smoky grey colour. His voice sounded a little childish times, but he gave wise advice. Elsa had known him since he was a child; he had grown up with her. And he stuck by her as she struggled through these difficult times, always showing up when Elsa needed him most.

"So, Princess, how've you been?" Olaf used his affectionate nickname for her.

A sad smile crossed Elsa's dark lips and she gingerly pushed the hood off her head, not really needing it anyway. "I've seen better days."

"Ah, you'll be alright," Olaf pulled the zipper on his black coat all the way up to his chin.

"But, that's the thing, Olaf," Elsa looked down. "I don't even remember what that word means anymore. How do you define being 'alright'? Is it when you move on from something terrible that's happened to you? Because I can't see that happening any time soon."

Olaf lifted her chin up slightly, his hand covered in a light brown mitten. Elsa looked up at him and saw that his rosy cheeks contrasted with the rest of his face that shared the same pale complexion as her own.

"That's okay. You won't have to worry about that. Know why?"

Elsa shook her head slightly and Olaf took his hand away, placing it on his knee as he smiled.

"'Cause Anna's going to be just fine. You'll see."

The small appreciative smile Elsa gave faded only moments after it appeared. "I guess I'll just have to keep hoping."

"Need some cheering up?" Olaf grinned, an idea obviously on his mind.

"Maybe," Elsa rubbed her hands over her arms as if she was trying to warm them up, even though she didn't really need to.

Standing up enthusiastically from the park bench, Olaf hopped from one foot to the other in his own way of fighting off the cold.

"Then, let's go get something to eat!"

"I don't know…" Elsa looked up at him and frowned a little, still in a doubtful state of mind.

"Yeah! We'll go to your favourite restaurant!"  
"I'm not really in the mood to walk anywhere-"

"Then I'll carry you!"

Olaf took her by surprise when he suddenly turned around and backed into her, forcing Elsa to wrap her arms around his shoulders as he lifted her into a piggy-back.

"Wha-! Hey!" she giggled a little as she held on tightly to her snowy-haired friend.

"So, are we going, or what?" Olaf bounced her up a little on his back to put her in an easier position to carry her.

Elsa tried to compose herself, but her quiet laughter still continued. "Alright, alright. But I can walk by my-"

"Nope! I'll be your sled dog! But you've gotta tell me to 'mush' if you want me to go!"

Elsa just shook her head as she smiled into Olaf's back, resting her cheek against it and feeling safe in its warmth.

"Come on, Elsa! Just like when we were kids," Olaf chuckled, bouncing her again in a playful way.

"Mush," Elsa giggled as she held on tighter to his shoulders, her knees on either side of his back.

"O~kay!"

Olaf marched the two of them down the street with an eager skip in his step, trying to catch the snowflakes as they started to fall. They passed shops with their windows lit up by a warm, friendly glow and Elsa couldn't help but look at the people inside. A family sitting down at a table for six and a mother helping her three daughters pick out new clothes for the cold season. It gave her a bittersweet feeling inside.

At the end of the strip of shops, they finally reached the last one and Olaf set Elsa down on the pavement. Elsa quickly dusted the snow off the top of her head and Olaf gave it a teasing ruffle before opening the door to the restaurant they had arrived at. The sign read _Kristoff's _in neon green and red lights. They were immediately welcomed by a feeling of cosiness and warmth as they stepped inside, the whole place bathed in golden light and a cheerful hum of chatter was coming from the people who were eating there as they enjoyed a nice place to be out of the cold. It wasn't too fancy and quite small for a restaurant, but Elsa liked that about it.

A waiter came over to them and smiled politely as he gestured to one of the booths in the middle of the room.

"Welcome, let me take you to your table."

"You don't have to greet us so formally, Hans," Elsa shook her head, amused.

Hans ran a hand over his reddish-brown hair and smiled awkwardly. "Well, you know. Got to do a good job for the boss, and all."

"Are you still hanging out for that promotion?" Elsa asked.

Hans nodded slightly. "Yeah, I mean it'd be nice. Not that I'm unhappy with being where I'm at, though."

"You'll get there eventually," Olaf gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder with his mitten-covered hand, earning a grateful laugh in response.

Hans led them to the booth and they slid onto the white seats on opposite sides of each other.

"Do you know what you would like this evening?" Hans asked the well-rehearsed question.

"Can I get a bowl of pumpkin soup?" Olaf ordered his usual meal.

"Chicken soup for me, please," Elsa said politely.

Giving a nod, Hans headed towards the kitchen. Elsa frowned a little as she made eye-contact with Olaf.

"I still don't get how you can like that stuff."

"What, Pumpkin? It's good!" Olaf covered up a laugh. "Chicken, on the other hand… Now, that's just plain boring."

They continued to talk back and forth for about five minutes before they were finally served their soup. Hans returned with two steaming bowls and placed them carefully on the table. Blowing on their spoons with each mouthful, Elsa and Olaf ate their soup in content silence.

By the time they were about half done, they were interrupted by a strange whining sound. When they looked down, they saw it was Kristoff's brown Labrador, Sven, sitting by their table. He was wagging his tail and whimpering to get their attention. Kristoff came running over, looking worried. He was wearing black clothes with a white apron tied neatly around his waist.

"Sven, what have I told you about disturbing the customers," he crouched down to give the dog's fur a friendly ruffle.

Sven yapped in delight, nuzzling into his owner's face. Kristoff stood up and flashed a pleasantly surprised smile when he saw who was sitting at the table.

"Oh hey, Elsa. Good to see you. How are you doing?"

"Better now that we're here, right Princess?" Olaf grinned at Elsa.

She nodded and smiled at Kristoff. "Your food always cheers me up."

"You haven't been doing so well?" The blonde-haired man gave her a concerned look.

"Don't worry, I'll be alright," Elsa felt like she was lying.

Kristoff folded his arms and pursed his lips. "Have you been to see her?"

"Of course. I see her all the time at the hospital," Elsa stared into her half-empty soup bowl, speaking in a monotone.

"That's not-"

He stopped himself from finishing his sentence and he let his arms drop at his sides.

"You know, I really wish I could have met her. I bet Anna was a really sweet girl."

"'Is'. Not 'was'. She still _is _a sweet girl."

"Elsa… I really don't think you're as okay as you're pretending to be."

She shut her eyes tightly and clenched her fist. "I appreciate your concern, but-"

"You really can't keep living like this."

Elsa got up and stepped away from the table, making the cutlery shake and clatter.

"Olaf, I'm ready to leave now," she said coldly, leaving two $5 bills on the table top for their meals.

Olaf smiled sadly and stood up as well. He followed Elsa as she walked briskly over to the door, pulling up her fur-lined hood to hide her face.

"You need to stop running, Elsa."

The door closed behind her and Kristoff's words were trapped on the other side of it. She felt a lump in her throat and swallowed hard, letting her breath out in a shaky cloud of steam as she stepped across the sidewalk. Olaf followed her quickly and eventually caught up to her.

"Are you okay, Elsa?"

"No."

She turned suddenly into an alleyway between two buildings and fell against one of the brick walls with a broken cry. She slowly dropped to her knees as tears started to fall from her cheeks and her body convulsed with each sob she gave. Olaf knelt down on the concrete and embraced Elsa from behind.

"Hey… It's gonna be okay."

"_I just want to be happy! _What do I have to do to feel _okay _again?" Elsa screamed, slamming a fist into the wall.

Olaf placed a hand on hers. "Maybe… maybe it's time to stop this, now."

"Huh?" Elsa croaked, turning to look into Olaf's grey eyes.

"This fantasy world you've made for yourself… Maybe it's time to face reality."

Elsa stared at him, frozen for a little while before she looked away and stood up, leaning against the red brick.

"You're not making any sense," she said, darkly.

"Elsa, you know what I'm talking about."

"Just stop it, Olaf!"

"I did the best job I could to make you happy. After all, that's what you brought me here to do," Olaf smiled distantly. His face was shadowed by the dark alley.

Elsa brought her gloved hands to her ears and covered them. "I don't want to hear it!"

Olaf gently pulled her arms down. "It's time to accept it, now. It's time to move on, Elsa."

"I want to reverse it," she whispered, tears still running down her pale face. "I want her back. I don't want this power. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Anna forgives you. She knows you didn't mean to hurt her," Olaf was still smiling warmly. "And I think that she'd want you to move on, too. It's the only way that you can be happy again."

"But I'm not ready. I'm not ready to let her go," Elsa nearly choked on her words as she fought back another sob.

"Then, don't think of it like that. Remember, she's always going to be in here," Olaf gestured to Elsa's chest and then to her head. "Right here in your heart and in your memory. Just as long as you don't forget her or lose your love for her, she'll always be with you."

Elsa shook her head, her fingers pushing her hair back as she spun around and then back to face Olaf again.

"I can't! I can't, I can't, I _can't!_" she screamed. "I don't know how! I don't know how to move on!"

"Then, I'll help you. Just for a little while longer," Olaf stepped forward and pulled Elsa closer to him.

She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed. "What are you going to do?"

He gently stroked her platinum blonde braid. "We'll go and see Anna, okay?"

Elsa pulled away a little and looked up at Olaf, staring at him for a while. Eventually, she nodded slowly, running her hand tiredly over her shoulder to brush a growing patch of snow away.

"Yeah… alright," she sighed, barely finding the strength to smile.

Olaf helped Elsa trudge slowly across a white field, their sliding footsteps making deep footprints in the fresh snow. Elsa looked up at the sky as she walked to distract herself from their destination, watching the snowflakes as they fell from the light grey clouds. Sensing her uneasiness, Olaf slipped his arm around hers and moved closer to her. She looked beside her to see his smile and returned it before looking at the path ahead. It had seemed like both decades and seconds before Olaf finally came to a stop.

"We're here," he said softly.

Elsa pursed her lips and blinked a couple of times to make sure that no tears formed. Exhaling slowly, she looked down at the small gravestone at her feet. She carefully knelt down in front of it and reached out to place a gloved hand on the engraving. She stared blankly at Anna's name written in white letters on the black part of the stone, the date of her death revealing that she passed away three years ago.

"You know, Olaf… a part of me was still hoping that it wasn't real. That the fantasy I'd made for myself was the truth and this horrible reality was the lie."

"But you're starting to realise it now, right?" Although Olaf put his hand caringly on her arm, she couldn't feel it anymore.

"Yeah. I didn't even want to remember it, but I do now. I remember her in the hospital as the ice in her head slowly made her health deteriorate. There was frost in her hair and her lips turned to ice. It was horrible to watch.

"I remember burying her here alone on this hill we used to play on as kids. I was usually only allowed to use my magic inside where it couldn't be seen by anyone, but this one winter when she was five-years-old, our parents let us go out to build snowmen and play on this hill. No one was around, so I was a little more daring with my magic than usual. She was jumping across the steps of snow I was making when I accidentally missed and struck her head. She never opened her eyes again after that."

"And that's where I come in, right?" Olaf smiled weakly.

"I was lonely. I didn't have any friends because I spent most of my time at the hospital with my parents, just talking to Anna as she lay there. But one day, I thought I'd try and build a special snowman that I could play with. One that was alive and could talk to me. But although I tried my hardest, the snowman I made never said a word. Happiness was the key to using the kind of magic that would bring it to life, but I just couldn't find it.

"Then one day… you showed up. This boy found me outside when I was crying and tried to cheer me up. Said his name was Olaf and that he liked warm hugs. And that was the start of the fantasy I made for myself."

"I did a good job, right," Olaf's voice was becoming more and more distant.

"Yeah, you stayed with me through those long years and kept a smile on my face. But I was becoming so lost in my fantasy world, that even though I was the one who put Anna in the ground, I still went back to her room at the hospital and I still saw her lying on that bed. I couldn't let her go… I _refused _to let her go." She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. "But this isn't what she would have wanted."

As she breathed a slow and shaky breath, tears formed in corners of her blue eyes. Even though she couldn't feel the wintery chill in the air, she still shivered a little. The world seemed darker and colder, but at the same time it was as if she was discovering it for the first time.

"Time to say goodbye, huh?"

Elsa could hear the sadness in Olaf's voice; a reflection of how she felt inside. She looked over at him and nodded, smiling as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Yeah," she breathed. "Time to go."

Olaf laughed quietly, his eyes never leaving Elsa's. "It's been a lot of fun, Princess."

He leaned forward and gave her forehead a tender kiss, causing another tear to travel down to her chin.

"You take care of yourself, alright?" Olaf smiled genuinely, wiping the tears from her cheeks and blinking away his own.

Elsa nodded again. "Thank you. Thank you so much for everything, Olaf."

And then he faded away, merging with the snowflakes and swirling around Elsa before disappearing with the wind. She was left kneeling by Anna's gravestone, completely alone. She closed her eyes and drew in a long breath, then let it out as her eyes slid open again. Brushing the light coating of snow from the gravestone in front of her, she smiled and ran her fingers over the engraving of Anna's name.

"You're doing okay aren't you, Little Sis? I'll be alright too, now. That's what you'd want, right?"

A gust of snowy wind brushed against Elsa's cheek in response.

"I was a fool to not have realised it sooner, Anna. But starting now, I'm going to live a happy life for the both of us."

With a feeling of determination in her heart, she walked through her hallway after returning home. She opened the door to her room and leaned her back against it to close it once she was inside. Slipping off her jacket to reveal the long-sleeved black top underneath, she threw it onto her double bed at the back wall of the room. She stood by her dresser and picked up the framed photo that was resting against the mirror behind it. There behind the glass was a picture of her family when they were whole and happy. Her father stood with his arm around her mother and a younger version of herself was holding the hand of a four or five-year-old Anna. It had been a long time since she had looked at that photo, but it made her fill up with joy to see it now.

"We'll be together again someday," she told the family in the picture. "But for now, the best I can do is remember the way we used to be. Those memories will be enough to keep the pain away and a smile on my face."

Setting the photo frame down on the dresser, she slowly removed her gloves and placed them down as well. She spun around and moved her hands in circles, smiling as shining streams of ice and snow flowed from her fingertips and created beautiful swirling patterns around her room. She laughed contently to herself as she channelled her snow to build a snowman on a spot on her floor that she covered with a thin layer of ice. Though the snowman's eyes and smile were made of black coal, they still seemed to be filled with life and wonder.

Elsa knelt down and wrapped her arms around the snowman, giving it a warm hug the same way Anna used to. _I love you, Olaf! _She could still hear the young girl's sweet voice in her memory. As she held the snowman and looked back on all happy the times she spent with him and Anna, the pain in her heart seemed to melt away.

"You were right Olaf," Elsa whispered into a smile. "I'm not moving on, or letting go, or forgetting. I'm just learning to remember the best memories of times I've lost and to live with as much happiness as I can make for myself…

…I'm going to be alright now."

* * *

_Author's Note: Sweet Disney, what have I done... So, I guess that's the end of it._

_Now, there is a part of this story where you as the reader get to decide what the truth is. And that is: Is Elsa the only one who could see Olaf? I've written this so that, if you go back and read their encounter with Hans and Kristoff, it works both ways if you decide that they can see Olaf or not. So, the two options here are 1) Elsa actually succeeded in creating a real person with her powers to keep her company, or 2) Olaf is Elsa's imaginary friend and any interaction he had with her and anyone else was just in her head. First of all, the latter would make sense because, after all, she was only imagining Anna at the hospital (explaining why the receptionist was so concerned and why Kristoff wasn't convinced that Elsa was okay when she said she went to visit Anna there). But on the other hand, the story is less sad if Olaf was actually there in person and had real feelings of his own, even if he was created with magic._

_So which theory would you prefer? Was Olaf created with Elsa's mind or her magic? I'd be interested to know; there's no right or wrong answer._

_I hope you enjoyed this, thank you so much for reading._


End file.
